Are you wondering how to support someone with an eating disorder? You are not alone.
If you’re worried that someone you care about may have an eating disorder, it’s natural to feel unsure about what to do next.
You may be unsure how to start a conversation or what supportive actions to take.
Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that can affect anyone, regardless of their background.
While professional treatment is often an important part of recovery, support from family and friends can also make a meaningful difference.1,2
In this guide, we’ll explore how to support someone with an eating disorder, what may be helpful to say (and what to avoid), and easy ways you can help a loved one take steps towards recovery.
For additional information and support, visit Beat‘s website for resources designed for people experiencing eating disorders as well as their family members, carers, and friends.
Table of Contents
What to do if someone you know has an eating disorder
Recognising the signs of an eating disorder isn’t always straightforward. Many people go to great lengths to hide their struggles, which can make it difficult to know when to step in.
Common signs can include:
- Restricting food intake
- Skipping meals
- Becoming preoccupied with food or exercise
- Withdrawing from social situations
- Binge eating
- Purging behaviours
- Significant changes in mood and energy levels.3
If you’re unsure whether your loved one is experiencing an eating disorder or disordered eating patterns, our guide on eating disorder vs disordered eating can help explain the difference.
9 ways you can support someone with an eating disorder
1. Start the conversation early and listen
If you’re concerned, try not to wait for the situation to worsen. Choose a quiet, private moment and focus on what you’ve noticed rather than commenting on weight or appearance.4
Feeling heard and understood can make it easier for someone to open up about what they’re experiencing. You don’t even need to say much, just hear them!
2. Focus on health, not weight
Try to avoid comments about weight, body shape, or appearance. Instead, consider focusing on their well-being, emotions, and how they’re coping day to day.5
3. Encourage professional support
Eating disorders are complex conditions that usually require specialist support. Encourage your loved one to reach out to an experienced eating disorder dietitian or other healthcare professionals.
If you are looking for support as an individual with an eating disorder, consider booking a discovery call with our Registered Dietitians.
4. Learn about different eating disorders
The more you understand, the better support you can offer. Eating disorders include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, ARFID, and OSFED.1 You can learn more about the different types of eating disorders.
5. Support regular eating habits
Recovery often involves rebuilding consistent eating patterns.1 Understanding the effects of not eating enough can help you appreciate the physical and psychological impact of undernutrition.
6. Be patient during recovery
Recovery isn’t usually straightforward. I always say it’s a marathon, not a sprint! To help your loved one cope with the long journey, be patient, offer encouragement, and provide consistency, which can make a real difference.1
7. Challenge common myths
Many people assume eating disorders only affect young women, but they can affect people of all ages, genders, and backgrounds.1
Read more about eating disorders in men and why greater awareness is needed.
8. Know when to seek urgent help
According to the Medical Emergencies in Eating Disorders (MEED) guidance, symptoms such as fainting, chest pain, severe weakness, dehydration, rapid weight loss, or prolonged food restriction should never be ignored.6
Eating disorders can become medical emergencies regardless of a person’s body size.
9. Take care of yourself too
If you’re supporting someone with an eating disorder, it can be emotionally challenging for you as well! Looking after your own well-being and seeking support when needed can help you continue to support your loved one effectively.2,4
How to help a family member with an eating disorder
When a family member has an eating disorder, it’s understandable that you may want to take control and help them in a way you think is best. However, recovery is often most effective when support feels collaborative rather than confrontational.
Try to create a supportive home environment, encourage attendance at appointments, and maintain normal family routines where possible.4
If your loved one is struggling with bulimia, our guide on how to recover from bulimia provides further information about treatment and recovery.
Next, we’ll explore important language to use (and what to avoid saying) when talking to someone with an eating disorder.
What can I say to someone with an eating disorder (and what to avoid saying)
Helpful things you could say:
- “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
- “How can I help right now?”
- “I’m here to listen whenever you’re ready.”
What to avoid saying:
- “Just eat more.”
- “You don’t look like you have an eating disorder.”
- “Why can’t you stop?”
- Comments about their weight, body shape, or appearance.
Recovery is possible, and compassionate support can make a meaningful difference. For an inspiring recovery journey, read Ava Reclaims Her Relationship with Food.
Conclusion – how to support someone with an eating disorder
Supporting someone with an eating disorder may make you feel anxious, especially if you’re worried about saying the wrong thing.
Remember that you don’t need to have all the answers. Showing compassion, listening without judgment, encouraging professional support, and staying patient throughout the recovery process can all make a meaningful difference.
If you’re concerned about a loved one and they would like professional guidance, consider signposting them to our website where they can contact us today to speak with an experienced eating disorder dietitian. We can provide valuable support whenever they are ready.
References
- Treasure J, Nazar BP. Interventions for the carers of patients with eating disorders. Curr Psychiatry Rep. 2016;18(2):16.
- Fox JRE, Dean M, Whittlesea A. The experience of caring for or living with an individual with an eating disorder: A meta-synthesis of qualitative studies. Clin Psychol Psychother. 2017;24(1):103-125.
- Hay P, Chinn D, Forbes D, Madden S, Newton R, Sugenor L, et al. Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists clinical practice guidelines for the treatment of eating disorders. Aust N Z J Psychiatry. 2014;48(11):977-1008.
- Hart LM, Jorm AF, Paxton SJ, Kelly CM, Kitchener BA. First aid for eating disorders. Eat Disord. 2009;17(5):357-384.
- Johns G, Taylor B, John A, Tan J. Current eating disorder healthcare services: the perspectives and experiences of individuals with eating disorders, their families and health professionals. BJPsych Open. 2019;5(4):e59.
- Robinson P, Jones WR, Micali N, et al. Medical Emergencies in Eating Disorders (MEED): Guidance on Recognition and Management. Royal College of Psychiatrists; 2022.
